In Japan, you have to put the family name first, followed by the first name. For example, someone whose first name is Kanako and family name is Yamada will usually be called Yamada Kanako (not Kanako Yamada).
FIRST NAMES
Though there are exceptions, it is common to guess the gender of the person by the ending of his/her firstname.
First names that end with -ko, -e, -mi, -yo are usually female names, while the ones ending in -o, -shi, -ro, -ya are usually male names.
Compared to Japanese names written in Kanji (and sometimes in Hiragana), foreigner names are always written in Katakana. Shops who offer you to transcript your name in Kanji are focusing on the pronunciation and the meaning of the kanji, but for formal documents, only katakana will be accepted for foreigners’ names.
TITLES
In Japan, it is normal to address each other using the last name. Only close friends (or people with a close relationship) will use the first name. People usually add a title to the person’s name, as it indicates, for example, the social position of the person.
The most frequent are the following:
– san: this is common and neutral. It can be used in most situations. (ex: Yamada san)
– sama: more polite than “san”, it is generally used in formal situations. Not appropriate in a casual context. (ex: Yamada sama)
– kun: this is an informal title and is used for boys and men younger than yourself. Usually used with first name. (ex: Toshi kun)
– chan: this is an informal title and is used for young children (boys and girls), very close friends or family member. Usually used with first name. (ex: Misato chan)
– sensei: this title is used for teacher, doctors and people with higher education from whom you receive a service or instruction. (ex: Yamada sensei)
Bowing is used to greet, to thank, to apologize, to make a request or to ask a favor.
Shaking hands are highly uncommon, but there are some exceptions.
Bowing can be done in different ways;
– small nod of the head: casual and informal
– deep and long bow: very respectful
– bowing on your knees: used when the greeting takes place on a tatami floor
Generally, foreigners are not expected to know all the nuances of the bow and a simple nod of the head (or a bit deeper bow) are more than enough in the majority of the situations.
At a formal meeting, business cards are exchanged during the introductions, at the very beginning.
Rules to be perceived as highly professional:
– Double-sided business cards: one face English, one face Japanese. Not only it shows respect for the welcoming country and person, but also it shows how serious and professional you are towards the business relationship you will have with that person.
– Enough cards: sometimes, you will meet more than one person, make sure that you have enough cards to give one to each
– Standing: don’t give your business cards while sitting, please stand with a slight bow to give them.
– Two hands: give your card using both hands, take the one from the other person with two hands either. When exchanging both at the same time, give with your right hand and take with your left hand. As soon as you don’t have your card (but only the other person’s one) use both hands.
– Look: When receiving a business card, take time to review it. It show professionalism and interest. Make sure you are not mistaking the name or position (for example, the pronunciation).
– Keep it out: when receiving someone’s card, don’t put it in you card holder or pocket. Keep it out next to you (ex: on the table) during the meeting.
– Card holder: a card holder is not a necessity, but it is very common to have one in Japan.
– Give them: give your business cards to anyone you would like to hear from again.
Avoid gifts in sets of four, as it is an unlucky number (“four” is pronounced the same way as “death” in Japanese).
OMIYAGE AND TEMIYAGE
Omiyage are souvenirs brought from a trip, while Temiyage are thank-you gifts you bring when visiting someone.
Giving souvenirs to friends, relatives or co-workers are very common. As a foreigner, highly appreciated gifts are food, drinks and products from your home country (be careful, some food and plants are not allowed to be brought inside Japan).
A common pricing range for a gift or souvenir is between 1000yen and 5000yen.
BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
Giving presents on birthdays or Christmas is not originally a Japanese tradition. But because of the strong influence of western culture, some families and friends exchange gifts in those occasions.
VALENTINE’S DAY AND WHITE DAY
In Japan, for Valentine’s day, women give chocolates to their lover, male relatives, male friends and co-workers.
For White day, it is the opposite, men do that for women.
Because of the western culture influence, it is more and more common for men to have a gesture also at Valentine’s day for their lover (roses, gift, dinner, etc…)
When entering a restaurant, customers are greeted with the expression “irrashaimase”, which means “welcome, please come in”. The waiter/waitress will ask you how many people you are and sometimes if you want a smoking (kitsuen) or non-smoking (kinen) seats (depending on the restaurant type), then will lead you to your table.
Though most of the restaurant provide webster type tables and chairs, some use Japanese style where you sit on a pillow on the floor, with low traditional tables (this is called zashiki).
After seated, the waiter/waitress will usually bring you a free glass of water or tea. If not, it means that free water/tea is available/accessible for self-service. You will also receive a wet towel to clean your hands.
Menus can be with pictures, only text, or sometimes on the wall only. If you are not sure what to order (and if they don’t have English menus), you can ask for their recommendations (osusume) or the chef’s choice (omakase). Some restaurants allow you to order directly from an electronic tablet (iPad or equivalent).
To ask for a waiter to come to your table, you can call him/her by saying “sumimasen” (excuse me) or by pressing a button when available.
Some restaurant will bring you a few small dishes (even if you don’t order them) this is “service” and it is not free. You can’t refuse it.
Paying in restaurants are usually made at the cashier area (but you have to ask for your bill at your table, or take the small “note” with your table information). In some places, like ramen shop, you purchase ticket upfront with your order on it, directly from a machine.
In Japan, it is not customary to leave tips. If you do, staff will probably chase you thinking you forgot some money and will give it back to you.
At the end of the meal, it is polite to say “gochisousama deshita” (thank you for the meal) when leaving the restaurant.
At the beginning of the meal, before eating, it is common to say “itadakimasu” (thank you for the meal).
If a meal is better eaten right away but the others at the table are not served yet, you can say “osaki ni dôzo” (please go ahead) or “osaki ni itadakimasu” (allow me to start before you).
Blowing your nose, burping, eating with the mouth open and audible munching are considered bad manners in Japan. On the other end, making noise when eating ramen is very common is traditionally reflects the appreciation of the taste (the more noise means you like your ramen a lot).
At the end of the meal, please say “gochisousama deshita” (thank you for the meal). This is commonly said when still at the table. But you can also say it when leaving the restaurant or to the person you pays for the meal (if you are invited) as a sign of gratitude.
DRINKING
Do not start to drink before everybody at the table has a drink. The salute is said “kanpai” (cheers).
Latin countries such as France, Spain or Italia commonly use “tchin-tchin” to say “cheers”. In Japanese, it sounds like “chinchin” which is a kid way of talking about male genitalias. So please avoid using it.
When drinking alcoholic beverages, it is customary to serve each other, rather than pour your own drink. So check your friends’ cups regularly to serve them before it is fully empty.
If someone wants to serve you more alcohol, you should drink some (a sip) from your glass before holding it towards that person.
CHOPSTICKS
Please follow the rules:
– Hold your chopsticks towards their end, not in the middle or the front third.
– When you are not using your chopsticks, or have finished eating, lay them down in front of you with the tips to the left.
– Do not stick chopsticks into your food, especially not into rice. This is a strong symbol and is only done at funerals.
– Do not pass food from a set of chopsticks to another, do not separate food with two pairs (ex: two people trying to separate a piece of food). This is also done at funerals.
– Do not point with your chopsticks.
– Do not play with your chopsticks.
– Do not move plates with your chopsticks?
– If you have already eaten with your chopsticks, use the opposite end to take food from a shared plate.
– Do not put your chopsticks in a “weapon” position (hold in the fist like a stabbing knife).
CUTTLERY
Knives and forks are only used for Western food. Spoon can be used with some Japanese dishes: donbury or curry rice for example.
In Japan, taking a bath is not only meant to clean yourself but also to relax at the end of the day.
If the bathroom you use is big enough, you will notice two areas. One to clean yourself before entering the bath, and the bath-tube.
Same as in sento (public bath) or onsen (hot spring), you have to rinse yourself first before entering the bath. When done, leave the bath and clean your body.
TOILETS
There are two toilet styles in Japan: the Japanese style (hole in the floor) and the Western style (sitting system).
The western style toilets have ofter a control panel on the side, allowing you to wash/rinse your private parts after you are done with your “business”.
You will also notice two flushing system: small (小) and large (大) regarding the amount of water used.
Toilet paper is not always provided in public restrooms.
You can find accessible toilets everywhere: in train stations, in malls/department stores, in big shops, in some convenience stores.
In some hotels (ex: ryokan) you will often find slippers in the toilets: please leave your shoes outside and use the slipper while in the toilets, then change back when going out.